i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
