No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize