I love black thongs
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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