haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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