I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
