She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
