did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
