Little spoons don't ask big questions
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize