Having a random hookup so left but love u
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
