there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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