It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
