Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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