u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
