I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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