I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
