fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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