Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
