dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
