my soul wont recognize me after tonight
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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