Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
