Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I did not marry a roomba.
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