Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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