The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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