I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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