What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
