How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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