She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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