sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
