WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
