You really coming over, don't trick.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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