I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
