After last night, I could never be a politician.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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