I cannot find my penis.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
