It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
