the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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