I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
