That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize