Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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