If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
