Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
