Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
