I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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