dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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