everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
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