girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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