It's just like the Real World with babies
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
