Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Randomize
