"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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