Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize