I can text with my tongue
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
