if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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