Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
