At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
we made out on top of his cat.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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