Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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