So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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