yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
