She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
