He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
