I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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