just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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