dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
