I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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