i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
is wine microwaveable?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
