Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
MIDGETS
????
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
