two words: eviction party
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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