I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
