shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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