my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
